excerpt from journal ( and yes, i write suckily when i think no one will be reading)

"Anyways, I'm just proud of myself for doing stats hw okay. I actually understand stuff and know how to use it and think about it. At least going to stats graduate school won't be a major mistake. I'm actually semigood at this stuff. Woo! I actually am afraid that a lot of the stuff that I do is because of other people. Don't know how badly influenced I am. Do I really like math and statistics? If I hadn't had Kan and Christou, would I be a biology major? Maybe not...like today for instance...I have no intention of switching to business. No feeling towards it. Doesn't really fulfill goals of advancing science, medicine, esp. cancer research. I spent years training to work in biology. This is the rest of my life and my contribution to saving people's lives. I think that business is not and never meant for me. I wouldn't be good at it and I wouldn't be happy with it.

So maybe being a little overly influenced is a good thing, gives me direction in life as long as I am conscious of what I am doing. Hopefully I haven't been too blind. Dang, I'd never have guessed that UCLA would be accepting me into their phd program in stats. Weird, how life turns out... "