BOSTON, MA - Harvard University is facing a lawsuit stemming from
allegations that it discriminates against 'F' Students. Jeremy Slowboy,
spokesman for the group 'Americans for Equal Rights for Under-Achievers',
told BNN, "We find it troubling that Harvard has never admitted a student
with a 0.0 GPA in its entire 363 year history. How can an institution of
higher learning, like Harvard, be so backwards and outdated? 'F' students
have just as much of a right to an Ivy-League education as any other student
in America. We praise those people who helped bring this lawsuit against the
university and hope that it will force Harvard and other universities to end
their discrimination policies."

Admisions Officials at Harvard claim that if they are forced to admit
under-achievers, the University will lose its prestige and could go under.
BNN's legal correspondent, Johnny Cockroach, sees things differently. Said
Cockroach, "Discrimination is wrong no matter what it's based upon. It is
time we faced up the fact that mental discrimination has no place in our
society."

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was created for entertainment purposes ONLY. Any resemblance to the truth is
purely coincidental.