It only rains twice a year in Seattle: August to April and May to July.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What do you call two straight days of rain in Seattle?
A weekend.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What do you call two weeks of rain in Seattle?
Indian summer.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What does daylight-saving time mean in Seattle?
An extra hour of rain.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What's the definition of a Seattle optimist?
A guy with a sun visor on his rain hat.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What did the Seattle native say to the Pillsbury Doughboy?
Nice tan.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"I can't believe it," said the tourist. "I've been here an entire week and it's done nothing but rain. When do you have summer here?"
"Well, that's hard to say," replied the local. "Last year, it was on a Wednesday."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Meteorological experts predicted a massive flood that would destroy the world. The pope went on worldwide TV and said, "This is punishment from God. Prepare to meet your maker." The president went on TV and announced, "Our scientist have done all they can. The end is near." The mayor of Seattle came on and said, "Due to inclement weather, this year's Seafair Parade will be moved to the top of Queen Anne Hill."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A newcomer to Seattle arrives on a rainy day. He gets up the next day and it's raining. It also rains the day after that, and the day after that. He goes out to lunch and sees a young kid and asks out of despair, "Hey kid, does it ever stop raining around here?" The kid says, "How do I know? I'm only 6."