The more I have to do the less I want to do them... I try to escape reality.

I wonder how I would have turned out if my older bro were here. He'd be 27... Maybe he'd have paved the way for me in so many aspects that I haven't struggled through successfully yet. I've gotten used to grad school, but I'm still in wonder at how or why I'm here. None of my extended family has ever gone to graduate school; the highest education I knew of before I went to UCLA was one uncle who got a B.S. from USC. Since my parents lost opportunity for schooling at age 13, I remember explaining to them how high school worked, and then how undergrad worked and now how a PhD program works when I don't even know it so well myself... Is this where my love for schooling comes from? Trying to get something my parents didn't have the chance to?


Eh... I'm gonna go to sleep where I can get away from this world for a few hours. Hopefully I don't have any of those weird dreams/nightmares where my whole life is completely disorganized, or I'm pregnant, or those laundry detergent boxes are chasing me through a parking lot...