I've never had such an enormous self-inflicted pressure to do homework before.

I need sleep.

The Life of A Graduate Student :
What I did on a Friday night

Howdy, what's new in Frances's life? Nothing! Hahahahhaha....

Yes, I still have tons of homework to do. I have to study hard cuz I'm dumb, that's what! Gosh, I never really considered myself a mathy person in high school. I remember when Linda said in high school that she was gonna get a PhD in math and become a professor. I thought that was just something that I'd never do, cuz it seemed so hard. Well, it is hard, but hopefully I will survive and it's cool that Linda is also doing something that she loves, spreading the love of math to all those younguns out there! =)

Previous occupations that I had thought of doing back then:

Pediatric oncologist
Architect
Geneticist
Bioengineer
Graphic Design Artist
Epidemiologist
Pharmacist
Comic Artist
High School Science and Math Teacher
Optometrist

So... I'm out $1300 after another trip to the dentist yesterday. The dental plan here really sucks. They consider crowns to be "cosmetic" and the maximum is only at $1ooo. I've been there so many times now, my fifth time will be in two weeks when I get a permanent crown. Anyhoo, must forget how much I paid and get on with life. =) (And to think I won't have a real job for another 7 years...)

My justification for feeling stupid about statistics now:

franiwack (12:30:43 AM): gosh, i realize that even though every thing looks hard and funky now, i'll be doing it so many times in the future it'll be easy, just like how algebra is sooo easy to us now
franiwack (12:31:02 AM): back in 100b i did okay, but i never really understood what random variable was
franiwack (12:31:09 AM): i didn't understand what was random
franiwack (12:31:11 AM): what wasn't
franiwack (12:31:15 AM): and all that stuff
franiwack (12:31:23 AM): but i still got an A for not really understanding stuff
franiwack (12:31:30 AM): and then in 183
franiwack (12:31:38 AM): i was answering questions in office hours
franiwack (12:31:49 AM): and i realized that many people in that class didn't know stats either!
franiwack (12:31:51 AM): seriously
franiwack (12:32:02 AM): i was explaining why the epsilon wasn't there
franiwack (12:32:04 AM): cuz it was random
franiwack (12:32:11 AM): and how you get the normal distribution out of it
franiwack (12:32:13 AM): and they didn't get it!
franiwack (12:32:28 AM): so...
franiwack (12:32:34 AM): no wonder profs get frustrated at us
franiwack (12:32:47 AM): this stuff is extremely easy to them cuz they 've been doing it for years and years
franiwack (12:32:50 AM): and we are just learning
franiwack (12:33:05 AM): before i took 100c, i forgot all stats
franiwack (12:33:08 AM): had to relearn 100b
franiwack (12:33:09 AM): now..
franiwack (12:33:14 AM): i don't have to relearn stuff
franiwack (12:33:26 AM): this basic mathematical stats stuff.... i use it so often... it's like ingrained!
franiwack (12:33:31 AM): so...yeah
franiwack (12:33:38 AM): it's okay if it's foreign and hard now
franiwack (12:36:57 AM): also, another realization....
franiwack (12:37:00 AM): if i suck at research
franiwack (12:37:06 AM): at least i might not suck at teaching
KaMiLien (12:37:12 AM): yeah i was thinking that
franiwack (12:37:12 AM): and perhaps i meant to teach
franiwack (12:37:16 AM): and not research!
franiwack (12:37:17 AM): :-)
franiwack (12:37:24 AM): and to teach you still need to learn this stuff
franiwack (12:37:28 AM): so...
franiwack (12:37:29 AM): :-)
franiwack (12:37:30 AM): ]hehe
franiwack (12:37:45 AM): yep, i feel better now

I really wish I had interesting stuff to blog about. But I don't, what else in the life of a grad student? Everyone asks me what I do. Well, I do homework. I don't do much else, and I don't do anyone either.

So here's a list of ten mundane tidbits from my life (be warned that you will get bored and then complain that I wasted your time):

1. I make makeshift pizza at home from wheat french bread, spaghetti sauce and mozzarella cheese. Good stuff.

2. My desk in my office was covered in pollen today. Seriously yellow.

3. I just burned my hair tonight. I haven't done that in awhile. I used to do that every night, right Tam Tams?

4. I went to office hours today. I feel bad for not uttering a single word. This will be bad when it comes time for the department to consider whether I can stay or not.

5. I have a tendency to not remember what I've said to people, thus I tend to repeat stories or forget to tell stuff entirely.

6. My right hand hurts nowadays. Oye, I am too dependent on my computer.

7. All the photos that I had posted up next to my bed to remember you guys by fell down the day I put them up. I refuse to use tacks, otherwise I will be a pin cushion when I wake up. And I forgot to buy adhesive at Target. So... oh wells, I guess I will be forgetting your faces soon.

8. I want a hug. No, not from random people. "All I really want is someone to hold me and tell me everything is going to be alright." ~ The Wedding Singer
And I really can't imagine who, I guess I won't know until it happens.

9. I'm getting a crown on Friday. It's gonna cost a fortune. I'm such a poor grad student! Sigh... Someone please tell me why I am doing this. Low pay, long hours for the next 5 years? Intellectual stimulation? It'll make me stronger? Maybe it's just another rat's maze...

10. Anyhoo, I'm a grad student!!! Ain't that swell? Is that supposed to make me look smarter than I really am? Because even though I know compared to the rest of the world, I ain't that dumb, well sometimes, but here it's like Frances is DUMB! dumb, dumb, and dumber...

11. I also have selective vision. Although that sounds cool, it really isn't. Apparently even though I have been using my kitchen sink for the past 8 weeks, I never noticed that there was a spray thingy sitting all pretty in front of me when I use the sink. I didn't see it until my roommate used it when I was there!! Crappy crapperson! How blind was I? Or excuse, how blind am I? I bet there are tons of other things that are right in front of me and I never see it!!! (Perhaps there is a crowd of cute, smart guys following me to campus everyday that I've never noticed behind me....) =)


Heck! Oye, I didn't even notice I went to 11. Oh wells, that's me, I'm "special".

It's just that when I was a kid, I always imagined what I would be like or what I would have when I got older. And you know, it was normal stuff. I'd have a house and a family and things like that. It's not that I'm complaining or anything, because I do have a cat. I have an apartment. I have a sole possession of a remote control. That's very important. It's just that I've never met anybody that I could laugh with. Do you believe in love at first site? I bet you don't. You're probably too sensible for that. Or have you ever seen somebody and you know, that if that person really knew you, they'd dump the perfect model that they were with and realize that you were the one that they wanted to grow old with?

Lucy

~ While You Were Sleeping

Bits and pieces of a weird dream when I woke up this morning:
I was in Stats 10 and I had a midterm. But the prof gave me the solutions to the midterm ahead of time, yet I didn't bother to study them. Apparently the solutions were full of pictures and biographies of 17th century women. I couldn't be bothered to read all that and memorize it, so I sat with hundred other classmates and failed that test.

You can't keep blaming yourself. Just blame yourself once, and move on.

- Homer Simpson

"Still In Love Song"

We were lovers, we were kissers
We were holders of hands; we were make-believers just losing time
You said you'd rather live in T.V. land and then say that you can but you don't
That's heartless and I will not cry

But I'm still in love
And I'm still in love... [3x]

You're dreams of acting on screen. What do they mean?
You'll be dancing senseless in your bedroom and
You find yourself out of a job and before too long
You'll be selling lemonade to the overpaid

And I'm still in love... [5x]

I remember it was summer; I was out of my head but you would
You're selfish and a waste of space

But I'm still in love
And I'm still in love... [6x]

my new homepage...

http://www.stat.berkeley.edu/~frances

let me know if it sucks, or if i forgot your name...it's late at nite and i forget who my friends be... hahhahah!

whatevers....

also, the dept don't upload stuff immediately,.. so you might see the draft of my page up... instead of the real awesome deal ;)

I love my two favorite professors, how much cooler and nicer can they get?? =)