Happy New Year!

Wow, 2005! Can't believe how fast it's a new year already. So many things that I've never done, old on the outside, young on the inside.

2004 has really been one of the best years I've ever had.

* graduate skool visits
* graduation in June : cybernetics, applied math
* working for a company in the summer
* moving to Berkeley and starting first semester of grad skool
* getting to know some people better ;o)
* getting my teeth aaaall better =D
and a whole lotta other stuff that I can't remember at the moment or shouldn't write down here
===============================================
The sucky thing is... I can technically do anything I want when I'm living at Berkeley, but I don't since I study pretty much 24/7. When I'm home during breaks, I have all this free time but I can't do a thing, I feel like a junior high schooler. I swear I'm like a decade behind everyone else socially. Anyways...it's okay, I'm used to it. Perhaps I didn't realize that maybe I wouldn't even be going to graduate school if I had had as much independence before as other people did. A forced nerd, if you will... I have noticed that I tend to blog about school while other people tend to blog about drinking and clubbing. Am I supposed to believe that puking after drinking all the time is cool? And what about wearing hoochie clothes and heavy makeup to impress guys who only care about what's downstairs and not upstairs? Crap, I better have that PhD by the time high skool reunion comes along...

Today I found my freshman admission to Berkeley from five years ago.

I looked at the slip of paper that listed my ID and PIN number.

They're the SAME as what I have now as a graduate student! Aww, they remembered me! =)

I was knitting a sock and I stabbed myself in the foot with the knitting needle. My middle name must be Clumsy. (no... I did NOT knit the sock while my foot was inside it...)

My foot be bleeding... I put some Neosporin with pain relief on it, but I can still feel it! Frances, you crazy girl... Let's hope that I won't do some serious damage to myself one of these days.

Howdy!

Break started last Tuesday and it has been going well.

* Finished reading The Da Vinci Code. Great book, can't wait for the movie in 2006.
* Watched plenty of movies that I didn't see when I was up north.
* Wilson's xmas party on Wed. night. Fun!
* Got to see Lien and Nicolas on Friday.
* Dinner tonite at IHOP with my best buddies and other cool peeps.

done...

but sadly, i didn't do well at all...

and now i'm tired

and hungry

and lonely

I'M STILL NOT DONE.

EVERYONE IS DONE.

WHY AM I NOT DONE?

I WANT TO BE DONE.

BUT I AM NOT DONE.

DON'T YOU WANT ME TO BE DONE?


(crap, "done" sounds like a weird word now... word overdose)

Jon Stewart on teen sex (with a pie chart next to him):

61% of high school seniors already have had sex, while 37% will eventually have sex and the remaining 2% will become statisticians who design pie charts.

* Too bad I couldn't copy the image from the video player, it was hilarious. =) But if you want to watch it, it's called "Abstinence of Malice", thanks to Dave who pointed out that Jon Stewart was bagging on us.

Scott Peterson's cell at San Quentin is bigger than my room in Berkeley and has a better view.

Peterson
========
size : 9 by 12 square feet
view : San Francisco Bay
rent : paid by taxpayers
meals : in-house dining service
amenities : gym, basketball courts, library, laundry room
roommates : plenty of nice peers of the same sex
parking garage : none


me
==
size : 9 by 10 square feet
view : freshmen dorms
rent : paid by taxpayers
meals : done by moi or walk two blocks to dining hall
amenities : laundry room, study room (that I never use)
roommates : 3 peers of the same sex
parking garage : none

one down, two to go...



honey roasted peanuts

girl playing violin on street corner

pop culture through the decades

red wrapped candy

bandanna

peach pineapple

brown pants

eyeglass screwdriver

Bickel & Doksum book

cov(X,X) != 0 unless X is a point (not my final)

boy/supermodel

bus reflection

I WANT FINALS TO BE OVER!!!
IS IT OKAY TO BE THIS DUMB IN GRAD SKOOL?

okay, this is sad when you haven't answered a single question on a take-home final...
i really gotta take only two classes next semester, three classes this semester really is killing me, the more i have to do, the more breaks i take because of the stress and the more breaks i take, the less time i have to do all those things and then the more stress i have and then the more... you get the picture.

i'll be flying home again next tuesday, i wish it was then already and all my finals would have been over with even if i fail them

one professor once told me that classes didn't matter anymore and that he got a really crappy gpa in grad school, well, that don't pertain to me since i ain't no genius and he was... i don't have anything that'll compensate for crappy grades

so here we are again: benchwarmer on the A team or star player on the B team? i guess if no one else cared that i was a benchwarmer for the A team, then i actually would enjoy the game much better, maybe people really don't expect me to be that good on the A team anyhow... so less pressure there, as long as i am on the A team...


Where I am at the moment, if you look the side of the building that is facing you, count three windows up and 5 windows from the left, see the window with a tiny white sliver indicating the shades? that's my office and if you look very closely, you might see me through the window... NOT! anyways, that's where i'm typing this and wasting time at the moment... anyone wanna switch places with me?

Major deterrent to studying:

Angela Brooks, me and Dr. Jamil Momand at the Arlington Hilton Hotel for the NSF BBSI meeting

thoughts of the moment (cuz i be lazy and i can't be bothered to write anything semi-decent):

* sucks how cal isn't going to the rose bowl this year

* can't wait to go home again, dreeeeading finals =(

* be gone to virginia on thursday and friday, hopefully i won't embarrass myself and that i can stand a 6 hour flight...

* feeling so blah lately, procrastination to a level high

* feeling at the same time lucky that i get paid to go to skool and a little annoyed that i'm completely running out of money and i still owe ucla loans

* doing laundry at the moment, clean!!!

* ironic how i'm poor yet i'm gaining weight ever since i moved to berkeley, i guess it's cuz i sit all day studying or in class AND fruits and veggietubles are hella expensive here...

Lovely art from Chris Appelhans (http://www.froghatstudios.com)
(thanks to Roy for pointing it out)

Aww... after I just wrote the last entry, I went to check Floey's blog... this does make me feel better:

Someone will always be prettier.
They will always be smarter.
Their house will be bigger.
They will drive a better car.
Their children will do better in school.
And their husband will fix more things around the house.

So let it go, and love you and your circumstances.
Think about it.
The prettiest woman in the world can have hell in her heart.
And the most highly favored woman on your job may be unable to have children.
And the richest woman you know, she's got the car, the house, the clothes....might be lonely.
And the word says if "I have no Love, I am nothing."

So, again, love yourself. Love who you are. Look in the mirror in the morning and smile and say "I am too blessed to be stressed and too anointed to be disappointed!"
"Winners make things happen. Losers let things happen."
Be Blessed ladies and pass this on to encourage another woman.

"To the world you might be one person, but to one person you just might be the world".

=(

Tired.

Very tired.

Need more time.

Too many things to do and learn.

Feeling rejected as result of someone's unintentional or intentional action.

Can't wait for winter break.

Pooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooped.