Franiwack

Are you pondering what I'm pondering?

Tuesday, March 25, 2003

Spring "Break"

After going home for three days, I'm back in Westwood. It seems like I never get a true break. I guess now that I'm no longer a kid, I don't get real breaks. Anyways, I studied most of Saturday, then came back Monday night. I went to work for 8 hours today and studied some at work too. Gosh, am I really a workaholic? I sometimes feel I'm such a lazy person. But then again, I'm working and studying during SPRING BREAK!!! There's so much that I have yet to experience and do with my life. When will I have time??? I'm "married" to school.

Thursday, March 20, 2003


Protest against war on Iraq at Westwood Federal Building at Wilshire, ~6pm

JASON MRAZ LYRICS

"Remedy (I Won't Worry)"

I saw fireworks from the freeway and behind closed eyes I cannot make them go away
Cause you were born on the fourth of july, freedom ring
now something on the surface it stings
that something on the surface it kind of makes me nervous who says that you deserve this
and what kind of god would serve this? We will cure this dirty old disease
if you've got the poison I've got the remedy

the remedy is the experience. It is a dangerous liaison
I say the comedy is that its serious. Which is a strange enough new play on words
I say the tragedy is how youre gonna spend the rest of your nights with the light on
So shine the light on all of your friends because it all amounts to nothing in the end.

I wont worry my life away.
I wont worry my life away.

I heard two men talking on the radio in a cross fire kind of new reality show
Uncovering the ways to plan the next big attack
they were counting down the days to stab the brother in the be right back after this
the unavoidable kiss, where the minty fresh death breath is sure to outlast his catastrophy
dance with me, because if you've got the poison, I've got the remedy

the remedy is the experience. It is a dangerous liaison
I say the comedy is that its serious. Which is a strange enough new play on words
I say the tragedy is how youre gonna spend the rest of your nights with the light on
So shine the light on all of your friends because it all amounts to nothing in the end.

I wont worry my life away.
I wont worry my life away.

When I fall in love I take my time
There's no need to hurry when I'm making up my mind
You can turn off the sun but I'm still gonna shine and I'll tell you why
Because

the remedy is the experience. It is a dangerous liaison
I say the comedy is that its serious. Which is a strange enough new play on words
I say the tragedy is how you're gonna spend the rest of your nights with the light on
So shine the light on all of your friends because it all amounts to nothing in the end.

I wont worry my life away.
I wont worry my life away.
I wont and I wont and I wont [etc.]

Wednesday, March 19, 2003

currently listening to: AFI - Girls Not Grey

The 101 Dumbest Moments in Business
(Page 4 of 17)

19 To: Dean Kamen. Re: Vibrating Segway?
Shortly after Mattel (MAT) releases its Nimbus 2000 broom as part of its line of Harry Potter toys, the vibrating device begins getting the wrong sort of customer raves. "I'm 32 and enjoy riding the broom as much as my 7-year-old," says one enthusiastic mother on Amazon. "My only complaint is, I wish the batteries didn't run out quite so quickly." Mattel stops making the toy, but denies that the unintended value-add is the reason. Says a spokesperson: "It's just not a continued product in our line."

I can't wait for next quarter to start, I promise I'll keep up with the studying etc. I have to go to office hours regularly next quarter: 1) good profs! 2) need letters of rec for graduate school, my current plans are to go to statistics graduate school and I have three stats profs next quarter =) 3) potential research mentors/phd advisors

Can't believe I'll be in Christou's class again, for sure I won't miss that class ever or sleep in it. So lucky I get to take another class with him, dunno about after that. Will he be teaching other classes besides the usual 100A, 110A, 100B and 110B?

currently listening to: Jason Mraz - The Remedy

did ANYONE expect Saddam to just pack up and leave???

Tuesday, March 18, 2003

finals, finals, finals, always worrying i wasted precious time and didn't study enough...need to be more calm and composed and have a blah blah attitude, sometimes life ain't all about school, sadly enough, for me, life is school......or work....am i comfortable being a workaholic? or am i just pigeonholed into having no social life whatsoever? is it all investment for my future? what about the things that i should be doing now in my younger years instead of waiting until i'm so old that i can't do them or have no urge to do them anymore?

As of March 18, 2003, 11:06pm, I have:
* Never flown in an airplane
* Never left the country
* Never been on a date
* Never had a boyfriend
* Never learned to read music or play an instrument
* Never drove a car by myself
* Never went camping
* Never climbed a mountain
* Never went white water rafting
* Never learned to kayak
* Never worn a two piece
* Never swum in the ocean
* Never been to a premiere at Fox Theater
* Never failed a class
* Never gotten a C
* Never had a leadership role/position
* Never signed up for bone marrow donation
* Never got a tattoo/piercing
* Never met a movie star/singer
* Never asked a guy out
* Never been to a professor's house
* Never rode a motorcycle
* Never finished reading the Bible
* Never finished a marathon
*

Spring 2003



Stats 100C: Introduction to Multivariate Analysis
Nicolas Christou

Stats 254: Statistical Methods for Computational Biology
Chiara Sabatti & Ker-Chau Li

CS 143: Database Systems
Michel Melkanoff

Finals Schedule



Math 157: Software Techniques of Scientific Computing
Wednesday, March 19, 2003, 11:30-2:30pm

Math 151B: Numerical Analysis
Wednesday, March 19, 2003, 3-5pm

Chem 160: Bioinformatics and Genomics
Thursday, March 20, 2003, 11:30-2:30pm

Sunday, March 16, 2003

I'm alive!


Just testing pictures! =) my beloved school....

Saturday, March 15, 2003

Most professors that I've had at UCLA are okay, some are better than others and some not so good at all; and then....there are the most special ones. The ones that'll change your life. These kind of professors are hard to come by and I'm lucky I've had two such professors.

David Kan


I took his PIC 10B (intermediate programming course) the spring quarter of my freshman year (Spring 2000). The first time he came to lecture, I thought he was the TA. He wore a blue plaid shirt and worn jeans, and it was like he was still a kid at heart. One of the nicest guys ever, he really cared about teaching and taught well. He tell us stories about his life and that made lecture extra special. Back then, I rarely did office hours, I still don't. But I went to his office hours, I think that was the very first office hour I ever went to for any professor. He was cool. He asked me what my name was and he introduced himself as David. haha! That first office hour made a difference. I got really interested in the class and even went to both lectures that he taught: 2-3pm and then 3-4pm Yup, I sat through and thoroughly enjoyed both hours. He not only made programming fun and interesting, he indirectly set me on my journey to becoming an applied math major. Because I was so interested in him, I found out his true love was numerical analysis. Teaching PIC classes were just a temporary stepping stone in his career. I got interested in math, I started reading books on cryptography (The Code Book, Simon Singh), number theory, fermat's theorem, etc. It was pretty exciting stuff.
Back when I took his class, I had only taken one lower division math course. It was on stats and probability, Math 3c, since that was the last quarter of the series, I was really disappointed that the only calculus I knew when I graduated from UCLA was the stuff I learned in high school. That made no sense to me. So the following fall, I started taking math again (math dept considered it a illegal repeat and deducted units from me). Now presently, I'm proud that I've taken so many math courses since then.
(total: Math 3C, 32A, 32B, 33A,33B,115A,131AH,170A,171, 142, 151A,151B,157, Stats 100B)
Professor Kan is no longer a professor. He taught only two or three more PIC courses before he left UCLA to become a sales manager for a mathematical software company. He is still in Westwood, actually working really really close to where my apartment is. The last time I ever saw him was last year on the street and he didn't recognize me. That's okay. When I graduate with my math degree, I'll send him an email or something to let him know what a difference he has made in my life.

And my favorite professor of all time,

Nicolas Christou


Professor Christou taught my Stats 100B course last winter (Winter 2002). The first time I ever heard about him was from a guy who used to be my next door neighbor in the dorms freshman year. I had talked to him when he was taking Prof. Christou's Stats 13 course and he told me he was a great professor. I was sort of interested but knew that I would not be taking Stats 13 ever, but I did look him up on uclaprofessors.com and saw the wonderful reviews. At that time, that was that.
After I taken Math 170A (probability) Fall 2001 with Holroyd, also good prof. I signed up for Math 170B also taught by Holroyd. I had no idea that the Cybernetics major was weird in that they let me pick either Math 170A or Stats 100A to fulfill reqs. but required me to take Stats 100B instead of Math 170B. I was sad to drop Holroyd's class, but seeing Christou's name in the schedule of classes made me happy again. I'd remembered what my friend had said before. So I looked forward to taking the class.
Professor Christou is from Cyprus, he's Greek and has a slight accent, but totally understandable. He taught the course extremely well. I loved his handouts and homework, they were always so organized and helpful. He is an extremely nice guy, but it was so funny when he reprimanded this talkative guy in class. Haha, I wish I could see that again. Professor Christou is also a pretty funny guy without trying. Like every class I take at UCLA, I sat in the front row, and every morning at around 11 am, he'd show up to class and wait outside for people. I'm not sure why he does that, but he does. He still does it now. But almost everyday, he'd ask me what time it was, or whether class is over yet. I told him the time, but it was weird because I noticed he wore a nice watch everyday. So I assumed the watch no longer worked and that he wore it for sentimental reasons. It didn't bother me at all, in fact I liked it, it showed that he noticed I was in his class.
Professor Christou also took time out of lecture to hand back homework. That is rare for professors, usually TAs hand back in class. And he handed them back INDIVIDUALLY! He called each of our names and sometimes stop class in the middle to hand them back to late people! WOW! Even TAs would just hand the front person the huge stack and let everyone find his/her own hw during class. What a unique professor! And I think that really helped him to remember everyone's face and name.
I still never went to office hours, but he had so many office hours, it showed he cared and I tried to make an effort to go sometime. First time I went wasn't that memorable. I find that you need to have studied and know your stuff before you go to his office hours. He really makes you think and I can't think under pressure like that. So I just ended up feeling dumb and having him explain everything. That's why I didn't end up going a second time until tenth and finals week. But the second time definitely helped. He knew my name. That makes me so happy when a professor remembers my name without me ever telling him in the first place. I have had professors where I would go to office hours 4-5 times and they STILL wouldn't remember or care to remember. Yeah, during that office hour, I found out that his watch just needed change of battery and he wore it everyday to remind him to change the battery. (BUT THAT WAS A DURATION OF 10 WEEKS OR MORE!) hehehhe, such a funny and weird guy! Definitely, I felt good going to his office hours and during that period of tenth and finals week, I went to every single office hour he had. It was probably a total of 3-4 times. It encouraged to start studying earlier and harder for his class than any other class. I think that's why I did well on the four hour final.
That's right, we had a four hour final! It was one of the most difficult tests I ever took. He let us bring books, hw, etc. to the test. And paranoid me, I brought everything even though I had studied so hard for the test. There was one question I'm especially proud of. It wasn't a remember and regurgitate question. It was completely new but required us to use the knowledge we'd learned that quarter. I thought and thought and finally came up with what I thought was right. I'm assuming I got it right, since I found out much later that I got the highest score on the final. But yeah... those were good times.
Another thing, during the quarter, around mid February, that was the period where I really wanted to donate blood. Ever since Sept. 11, I promised God that I'd donate blood. But I didn't have the courage to go do it until February. I was researching donating blood online and I ended up at Christou's webpage! Fate! He had posted a message from the UCLA Blood and Platelet Center telling people to donate blood. Wow... well, I had done it on February 18, 2002: donated blood for the first time. I really wanted to let him know that I did it the next day, but I hadn't known him well enough to talk to him about it.
He is such a nice and great guy that I wrote a letter of praise to the Statistics department for him. I still have no idea whether he knows, but I won't be telling him.
Spring quarter 2002: I was applying to the UCLA IGERT bioinformatics internship and needed letters of rec on less than seven days. It was my first time that I ever needed to get letters of rec and I was scared and nervous. It was obvious I'd ask Prof. Christou for one, he was the only professor on campus that actually knew I existed and knew my name. I emailed him about it and he was so nice about it! It wasn't like uh..okay, maybe I'll write you one if I have the time, it was of course I'll write you! It made me quite happy, and when I went to his office the next day all prepared to talk to him about it, he'd already finished it!!! Not only did he finish it, he let me read it before he printed a nice copy, signed it and put it in an envelope for me. =) So incredible.

dangit...not enough time... still much more to say about Christou, will have to continue later... (I'm gonna be in his class AGAIN in two weeks!!! can't wait!)

Thursday, March 13, 2003

Today has been okay so far. I expect to be very busy, yet I blame myself partially on that, since I totally didn't use last nite wisely.
I've had to wake up early to return homework I took by accident. Mailed my letter of rec at the post office inside Ackerman. Did an oral test for Chinese. Had NO idea I would be recorded digitally! Eeks! Plus my prof asked me questions in chinese and my answers frustrated him just a little. He asked me what my major and what my career goals were and I had no idea how to say cybernetics and bioinformatics in chinese! So I answered in English. heheheheheheheh =)
Now I'm waiting for my noon math class. After that is going to farmers' market to buy a flower for my prof. Still have to write him that thank you card.
Then off to work to see if my boss finished the letter of rec. Then 6-8 is review session for my bioinformatics class. whoohoo....sigh....oh wells
I'm alive
I'm healthy
I'm in a good school
I'm in a good major
I have good friends
I have a good job
I have food to eat
I have a good place to live
yup, me so lucky, what do I have to complain about? I shouldn't be, that's what!

Now that I've been running on a regular basis, it actually feels good now, not like as I was dying if I tried to run before. Yeah, if I had time everyday, I'd definitely go running everyday for an hour. It's kind of nice. I go running around Westwood residential areas. And they are such nice houses!! With nice cars! Feel like I need to work harder to make money so I can live nice like that. (Or as some people suggest: marry "rich") Anyways, yeah, hopefully I'll still be enthused with running for the next three years because I really want to finish the L.A. Marathon before I die.

And I feel good! My body feels good, my legs are getting stronger. I don't feel so lumpy bumpy all the time. Hopefully, I'll be losing weight and burning off the ice cream I eat everyday for finals week! =) hahaha!

Wednesday, March 05, 2003

My future seems so uncertain. What specifically will I be doing with my life? What can someone with cybernetics and applied math degree do with it? I figure it'd be anything, since they're so broad and based in vital logic skills. But who really knows? That's one major reason I'm not graduating this year. Haven't "found myself" yet. Have planned to spend summer looking up graduate programs and such, learn more computer programming and get more out of UCLA than just academics.

I have a feeling though that I will become a career UCLA person. Undergraduate, graduate, postdoc, and professor...and ultimately professor emeritus. Is it because I'm scared of adjusting to new environments or does UCLA offer me more than any other school? It's a lucky thing I chose UCLA in the first place for undergraduate studies. I had applied for every other school with a definite major, whereas I spent three years at UCLA undeclared. It just shows you can't plan everything, because you're always lacking in the complete information of what will happen in your life. Plan some stuff, but live life as it goes along. There are wonderful surprises up ahead that you never expected. For certain, I wouldn't have believed that I would ultimately major in math in college, let alone stay there for 5 years. Now it makes so much sense to me. Live and learn. =)

Tuesday, March 04, 2003

My boss Ed is leaving this year. Good and bad.

Bad: Ed is really one great guy. Cares about my future. No nonsense guy who expects a lot from you, but if you do stuff right and efficiently, you earn something that is hard to come by: his respect.

Good: His leaving means I'll have time to work with Allen on what I'm really interested in: programming and databases. I still have so much to learn and Allen has so much to teach me.

Crap, should be doing homework, but I'm not. I'm writing this for noooo one to see. =)

Health issues and weight loss is really dominating a part of my life now. I'm always looking up ways to exercise, eat, etc. I have always weighed more than my peers. When I was younger, it was mostly due to my height and bone structure. Then when high school hit, I didn't even realize I was gaining so much weight after P.E. was no longer a requirement for the last two years. I'd go home and eat junk food while doing my homework. It comforted me and kept me busy at finishing my hw. I remember those days when my left hand was in a bag of chips or cookies and my right hand was busy doing math homework. Calories meant nothing to me back then. So gradually of course, I gained a lot of weight. I didn't even notice. I was wearing size 10 beginning high school and came out of high school with a 14.

I think senior year, I did realize that I wasn't getting any exercise, so I started jumproping. Now that was intensive exercise, and I'd weigh myself week after week, and not one pound came off. I tried rationalizing that I was gaining muscle and that muscle weighs more than fat. But it didn't keep me happy or motivated that numbers weren't moving. At the same time, I was still eating a lot of unhealthy stuff. No wonder no weight came off. I was lucky that exercise was preventing more pounds from appearing. But I didn't know that back then.

I continued gaining weight throughout college. Dorm food: I thought I wasn't eating a lot, but really, who was I kidding? I always had dessert, always tried every dish they offered. I know those seasoned curly fries weren't there to help me lose weight. Despite the steep hill to Hedrick and infrequent workouts, my weight wouldn't budge nor did my dress size.

Around February of last year, I'd gained so much that size 14 was getting tight. That's what scared me. Before, size 14 was still "average" or "normal". I didn't worry at all. The average size of American women is size 14. But when I was approaching 16, damn! That really proved to me that I was overweight. Have you seen size 16 pants? They're huuuuuge! Back then I'd look at my pants and go "whoah!, they're big" BUT yet, they fit!! or sometimes was tight. That was really depressing.

What really changed for me was when I bought the Tanika body fat monitor. It measures weight up to 0.5 accuracy and measures body fat percentage up to 0.1 % The first time I stepped on it, it read 179 lbs. and 40% body fat. AAAAAAH! How did I let myself go like that? It was bad. I'm only 5'7" and that weight definitely meant I was fat. So what I did was to start counting calories and walking more. It wasn't a big enough change that I wouldn't be able to continue long term. And every week from then on, I faithfully lost one pound, the healthy way. And body fat percentage steadily went down also.

Then I hit plateau: nothing changed. I'd moved into my new apt and it was so close to campus that I lost my exercise component to my weight loss program. Plus, I live across from Ralphs now. Yay for me. But by then I'd gotten tired of counting calories and hadn't incorporated any more physical activity into my life. This continued until January of this year. Along with millions of other people, I made a New Year's resolution to lose weight. I was ten pounds off my goal which was 150 pounds.

So in the past two months, I've started counting calories again. Though this time, I am always hungry and end up eating a lot more than last year. Tammy and I try to go weight lifting or play tennis once a week. I know that strength training is a major component in losing weight. I also need to add cardio. So I've taken up running. I was never a long distance runner, even when I was younger, I only competed in sprints, never long distances. I couldn't handle the sustained oxygen deprivation and tiring muscles. But I have to keep practicing so that I can build up to a stage where I can run miles comfortably without stopping to walk. For now, it's around 5 minutes of continuous running. I try to run around the pretty Westwood neighborhood and on Saturdays, at the AHS track. It's getting to be a lot fun and I hope I can be a lifelong runner. One of my life goals now is to finish a marathon. The LA marathon took place last Sunday and I was so excited. Watch me, I'm gonna be there in three years waving at the camera. =)

So anyways, my current stats: 158 pounds/32% body fat
Still kind of disappointed, my weight isn't changing much after so much running and weight lifting. And it's not like muscle gaining since body fat percentage isn't going down. It went up just a little. =( Darn, I'm probably eating too much again. I'm very guilty of stress eating. I tend to consume a lot of ice cream during finals week and chocolate at other sad little moments of my life.