Franiwack

Are you pondering what I'm pondering?

Sunday, May 30, 2004

Oh my.....

My stalker abilities have ascended just a bit more... I now have a great resource to find the age of anyone and who is living with them in the same household... Confirmed some ages of people who I already knew birthdays of and ultimately found out that potential advisor is 69... My guess of 63 was a bit off, but now I know his wife's (?) name. And if I only had more money... I could so much more.

other stuff i found:
* my fav prof has a middle name, though i don't know what it is
* ages of my cousins and other relatives
* ... eh, more to come once i get dsl access again, dial-up at home is slooooooooooooow =)

Friday, May 28, 2004

THANK YOU to all my friends for keeping me a happy peppy person! I really do mean it. Though there is some benefit in solitude, I always find that I'm much happier after I spend time with or talking to you. It's not as fun watching Shrek 2 by myself than with friends, but it's doable. =) And it's not a bad thing doing stuff by myself like watching movies alone or going to the beach alone, but being with people fuels my soul. =)

So you all gotta remember to stalk me once in awhile when I'm at Berkeley to keep me sane and let me finish my PhD with a smile. =) For sure, I'll be on IM 24/7 like usual.

phi beta kappa

eh... go for the food? i guess, i'm bored and always ready to eat =)

Thursday, May 27, 2004


STRAWBERRIES!!!

I love the strawberries from Farmer's Market. They are sooooo good, always guaranteed to be good everytime I go. As I am a poor college student, I can't afford their prices early during the day. They sell for like 5 bucks for a 3-pack. So what I do every week is wait until closing time or even 10 minutes after closing time when everyone is packing and they're desperate to unload their stuff to go home.

Today I walked out of my apt at 6:30pm after my shower. Farmer's Market closes at 7pm. I got money from Ralphs and then went to Rite Aid first to get Coconut Pineapple ice cream and Apricot Mango Sherbet. By 7:05pm, they were selling the strawberries for $2! =) So I got 5 of them. Dang heavy, what a workout, I was carry 5 3-packs of strawberries, two cartons of ice cream and cilantro and my purse. Good thing I do weight lifting. Okay, that is my second very lame story of the day, aren't you lucky? =)

After I finished stats hw today, I went out to go running. I really admire those people who can do miles and miles without stopping. Anyhoo, you know me...I ran a bit, walked a bit, ran a bit, walked a bit, get the pattern? =) But I did finally go around the whole of UCLA's perimeter (around 4 miles)... I think that took a little bit under an hour. I had some weird detours into the residential area east of Hilgard first. Fancy schmancy houses and cars!!! Man, I wonder if I will ever have that one day.

I find that I need to break in quite a bit before I get used to running really well at any one time. I'm a sprinter, not a long distance runner, so it takes some getting used to running for longer periods of time. Yeah...so hot now, but I feel great. =) I really should start running on a regular frequency again... see how long I keep that up...I never do...but I should, then I can be one of those incredible peeps who can run on and on for miles and miles.

Going on to other news, I just realized that I spent all of today finishing stats homework that is due next Friday and didn't even touch the stats homework that is due tomorrow!!! How crazy am I? This is bad... what will happen to me once I leave UCLA and head up to Berkeley? Ooh, by the way, finally got berkeley mail! I've been waiting really patiently for them to load my data into the system so that I could get an account. No one in the stats dept knows I got one yet, and later I'll get another one from them. Whoohoo, email account overload. =)

Tuesday, May 25, 2004

one of my very favorite songs:

El Scorcho

Goddamn you half-Japanese girls
You do it to me every time
oh, the redhead said you shred the cello
And I'm jello, baby
But you won't talk, won't look, won't think of me
I'm the epitome of Public Enemy
Why you wanna go and do me like that?
Come down on the street and dance with me

I'm a lot like you so please
Hello, I'm here, I'm waiting
I think I'd be good for you
and you'd be good for me

I asked you to go to the Green Day concert
You said you never heard of them
-How cool is that?-
So I went to your room and read your diary:
"watching Grunge leg-drop New-Jack through a press table..."
and then my heart stopped:
"listening to Cio-Cio San."
fall in love all over again

How stupid is it? I can't talk about it
I gotta sing about it and make a record of my heart
(How stupid is it? Won't you give me a minute
Just come up to me and say hello to my heart) How stupid is it?
For all I know you want me too
and maybe you just don't know what to do
or maybe you're scared to say: "I'm falling for you"

I wish I could get my head out of the sand
'cuz I think we'd make a good team
and you would keep my fingernails clean
but that's just a stupid dream that I won't realize
'cuz I can't even look in your eyes without shakin', and I ain't fakin'
I'll bring home the turkey if you bring home the bacon.

What a life!

I'm just sitting outside in the science quad, enjoying the sun and wind, listening to Pinkerton CD (current song: The Good Life) Am I really just wasting time or is this good for "finding" myself? "I want sugar in my tea!" Sometimes I would like someone to share in my solitude....(contradiction, yes I know) Does anyone or anything know what goes on in my mind??? I'm wondering if anyone can or is reading my mind right now....
I'm sure it'd freak out a lot of people if they knew what I thought, so good thing that people don't....

I'm in that silent middle place that nothing happens in in The Chronicles of Narnia.... just waiting to jump into a puddle to enter the next world.

=========================================================
The Good Life

When I look in the mirror, I can't believe what I see
Tell me, who's that funky dude, staring back at me?
Broken, beaten down can't even get around
Without an old-man cane, I fall and hit the ground
Shivering in the cold, I'm bitter and alone

Excuse the bitchin', I shouldn't complain
I should have no feeling, 'cuz feeling is pain
As everything I need, is denied me
And everything i want, is taken away from me
But who do I got to blame? Nobody but me

…And I don't wanna be an old man anymore
It's been a year or two since I was out on the floor
Shakin' booty, makin' sweet love all the night
It's time I got back to the Good Life
It's time i got back, it's time i got back
And I don't even know how I got off the track
I wanna go back…Yeah!

Screw this crap, I've had it! I ain't no Mr. Cool
I'm a pig, I'm a dog, so 'scuse me if I drool
I ain't gonna hurt nobody, ain't gonna 'cause a scene
I just need to admit that I want sugar in my tea
Hear me? Hear me? I want sugar in my tea!

…And I don't wanna be an old man anymore
It's been a year or two since I was out on the floor
Shakin' booty, makin' sweet love all the night
It's time I got back to the Good Life
It's time i got back, it's time i got back
And I don't even know how I got off the track
I wanna go back…Yeah!

I want to go back, I want to go back
And I don't even know how I got off the track
It's time i got back, it's time i got back
And I don't even know how I got off the track
I want to go back…Yeah!

…And I don't wanna be an old man anymore
It's been a year or two since I was out on the floor
Shakin' booty, makin' sweet love all the night
It's time I got back to the Good Life
It's time i got back, it's time i got back
and I don't even know how I got off the track
I wanna go back…Yeah!

Thursday, May 20, 2004

I gotta do other stuff in my life besides school. I do know that I'm so not even close to the "average" graduate from Arcadia High School Class of 99. Did I actually choose this life or was I half blindly led into it? Spending all of my twenties in school... school, school and more school. Even this quarter when I'm technically done with UCLA, I'm still here!!!! WHY am I still here???

Okay...that was just a little burst from my mind. I'm sure I won't mean any of it in two hours or so. Yes, I'm an uber-nerd and should be proud of it.

Wednesday, May 19, 2004


I finally finished reading "I Don't Know How She Does It" by Allison Pearson after not touching the book for more than half a year.

The book details how Kate Reddy manages her life as a successful fund manager and unsuccessful mother of two young kids. Essentially, what I got as the main message from the book is that women CAN'T manage a career and kids well at the same time... Kate is an absolutely bad mother due to her highly demanding job that requires almost 24/7 attention and frequent travel. Her idea of making it up to her kids is spending lots of money on them to substitute for her not being there. She gives in to all their demands and has to bribe and put up with a less than responsible nanny. And because she doesn't have time for her husband, she usually treats him roughly and taking him for granted, mostly just complaining how he has done his job of taking care of the house correctly, he finally has to leave her. So what to do? Give up her job? Or continue to live like that where she has no time even for herself and her kids will learn to consider the nanny as mother?

Not sure if her story applies to all women who have careers and family... but it's making me less naive about trying to do everything well. Apparently, effort(work) + effort(family) = constant and you have to balance it, the more time at work means less time with family and vice versa. Oh wells, I'll work hard at anything that is present at the moment and take things as it comes along. For now, that thing is more school.

Tuesday, May 18, 2004

blog

there, i blogged, cuz abe said i don't blog =p

Does concentrating on something you want actually have any factor in making it happen?
It's weird how things really accidentally happen when I want them to. Is my subconscious persuading me to do the little things that will ultimately set me on the path to that event? Some of the stuff is not at all probable, yet it does happen. Anyways, I'm not really talking about anything major; it's just the little things that I notice happen in my daily life.

Sunday, May 16, 2004

Click here if you want it read to you in Greek

Knitting Socks 101....

~ I finally figured out how to do short rows for the heel! Okay...I know that doesn't deserve a Nobel prize, but nevertheless, it's a good feeling after you successfully learn something and implement it properly. =)

Monday, May 10, 2004

I just realized that I never really talk about how my days go... just some blah blah on my mind at the moment. Anyhoo, for all these nonexistent stalkers out there, here's what happened to me today or recently:

Today I had two midterms, both for my two stats classes that I'm taking for fun this quarter. So technically I shouldn't be worried. I did study though even when I got severely hooked on Joan of Arcadia this weekend. Oh boy, that show is great and it shows God in a different light than what you always imagine when you're on campus like a sitting duck for those bible study people who try to convert you. Not that it's that annoying, I do listen, but I have my own relationship with God.

Okay, how did I get sidetracked from talking about my midterms? Anyways, my first midterm went over half an hour. Four datasets and I tried to analyze any which way that I could, but eh.. I'm not proud of what I did. I didn't even leave enough time for writing my conclusions. Do I have to be good at this kind of stuff to go to statistics grad school? Oh wells...it's harder now than when the professor had no idea who I was and thus, I couldn't care a diddly squat if I got a bad grade. Oh goodness, that just showed that I get good grades because other people would care and not me! That sucks... Yeah, but now that she knew who I was and where I'm headed... I guess it's just more disappointing when I can't do well on basic stats stuff. =)

Which is another major factor of why I studied really hard for my second midterm today. It's because the professor knows me so well that I did study for him mostly. Do I really enjoy the material? I do, but does it matter why I enjoy it so much? This once again leaves me confused on what the real me really likes doing, and if I ever knew that, I might even now be aspiring to be a fashion designer or something. hhahahah... dream on. I'm sure that many people have a dream job that's probably never possible and a dream job that they are actually doing. I've talked to professors and it seems like they love their job but their real first dream job would be something totally different like a baseball player or astronaut.

So my second midterm also went over half an hour and that's because my professor always does that. Too nice, if there's no class afterwards, he always lets people have more time. The bad thing was that he claimed it was super easy right before he handed it out to us. NO WAY! Dude, that was NOT an easy test. I made stupid mistakes as usual, some problem got me stuck for more than 30 minutes. And the professor said he was really surprised that people took so long, 1.5 hours when he thought it'd only take half an hour. Well, 1) he's the PROFESSOR! and he made the test, of course it's easy for him!
2) if you KNEW how to do it, writing down the answers doesn't take too long, it's when you go on these loooooooooong tangents trying to figure out the answers that you don't have enough time to finish the test...

Anyways, that second midterm for my financial statistics class IS the very very last test of my entire UCLA career and I'm glad that it was Christou's.

After the test, I derived another way of solving another problem on the test. It took a whole page and more but it luckily came out to be the same answer. Whoohoo! I DO know what I'm doing! hahaha =)

At 4:45pm, I went to IPAM to go hear Prof. Brenner from Berkeley talk. Interesting, but it went over time a lot and lot of people were anxious to get out of there. His grad student was inexperienced in skipping and condensing slides when there is no more time for the presentation. But it finally ended and I got some food, good food which I took to the inverted fountain to eat.

It was soooo nice, just sitting there by the fountain in the sun, listening to music and just enjoying a little time on my own... Two people found me there. First one was I-Shen, I met her in Prof Kan's class more than four years ago. We still bump into each other now and then because she is a graduate student in the math department now.

The second person to see me was Prof. Christou, which made the whole experience even better. I find that if he sees me with someone else, he just ignores me and walks on by, but if I'm by myself, then he'll call my name. Anyways, I'd finished eating already so I walked him to the bus stop and waited with him for the Big Blue Bus. I like those moments, it's a good time to talk about stuff. =)

After the #2 bus came (too soon I say!), I walked home. I've been just watching more Joan of Arcadia all night... a headache is about to come on. But I'm happy. Ooh, and that's also because Justin got his letter!! Yay! =)


(one little sidenote to myself: daaamn, i'm getting to be such a good stalker... it's a little scary...)

Friday, May 07, 2004

I love my professor but time is going by way too fast and I'll be out of here before you know it....
Hopefully another mentor awaits me at Cal, I need all the support I can get. =)

Wednesday, May 05, 2004

One pint out today... 10 minutes only! So easy, however for some reason, I feel a bruise coming on... oh boy... the guy Tom who did it to me today was very nice and I got to talk to Jean, the woman who did my first time. Such nice people who work there, if it wasn't for them, I wouldn't have gone back. But I have one more to go for a gallon, so next time I visit UCLA, I'll get my picture taken and stuff. =) But for now, I'll have to find a place at Berkeley to go do it. Apparently the last time I did it was May 14, 2003...almost exactly a year...

And! my bandage is hot pink!!! How cool is that ? =)

Sunday, May 02, 2004

As I approach graduation from UCLA, it seems like both such a short and long educational process that got me here to the present time... so many people and things that synergistically brought about this "mentally developed" person, as you might say....

Anyways, I just wanted to list all my favorite and influential teachers... I am what they taught me...

Elementary School - Longley Way, Arcadia, CA
:: Charlotte Cowan - 6th grade
I'll never forget this truly unique, vivacious lady, many a times I really wish for one day back in her classroom. She taught me so much about life. So many things that I remember about that special year in elementary school and I do think it has really contributed to who I am today.

High School - Arcadia High School, Arcadia, CA
:: Douglas Wilks - AP Biology
Contrary to what my other classmates might say, I really had a blast in AP Bio! It became my favorite class in the four years of high school. Because of Mr. Wilks, my love for biology lasts to this day. Mr. Wilks really cared about the students, such a cool guy! I'm still wondering after five years why I had gotten that senior award in bio even though there were so many other people who excelled in his class. Did he see when no one else did that I was truly interested in the biology and not just in getting good test grades like other people? This thought has kept me believing that I can make a significant contribution to the biological sciences in whatever way that I can.

College - UCLA, Los Angeles, CA
:: David Kan - Program in Computing
:: Nicolas Christou - Statistics

I have no idea where Mrs. Cowan or Mr. Wilks is... both retired?? Haven't tried to track them down, but I wish I could talk to them again someday... I haven't seen either of them since the last day of their class. Do any of my elementary school, junior high, high school teachers ever wonder where their kids end up? Wonder what they are doing now and if they remember anything that they had taught them? Teachers have such an important job, and I can't understand why one of them thinks that he isn't doing a job that is as noble as being a medical doctor for example.