Franiwack

Are you pondering what I'm pondering?

Tuesday, April 29, 2003

I know overall I'm pretty lucky to have such a nice life and opportunites but little things that go wrong in a day can synergistically make me frustrated and sad.
It's only 12:41pm and I have a feeling the rest of today won't be going that well, considering what already happened.

9:15am
Got rejected from the UCLA Blood and Platelet Center. Low iron levels, it has never happened to me before. They figure it's because I lost a lot of blood during my period. So, yeah, I got pricked today for nothing, I was all prepared and everything. Well, at least I know I have to intake more iron. They also said that calcium binds to iron and prevents iron from getting absorbed. I have been drinking a lot of chocolate milk recently. Whoohoo!
Well, now I have to wait two weeks, still disappointed.

10:00am
I have computer science homework due at 4pm today, so since I had free time because I couldn't donate today, I was in the engineering lab doing my hw. I got stuck and found a site that could possibly help me because the prof stole the hw from that. Anyhoo, it was in ps format and for some reason, the ENGINEERING lab doesn't have gsview installed. What the heck?? So i went aaaaall the way to the PIC lab because I know they have gsview BUT....they cancelled my account. ARGH!!!! Sucks, does anyone know how I can change settings so Acrobat can read ps? Haven't figured that out yet.

10:20-10:50am
Time wasted...I didn't feel like going back to the engineering lab and it was a nice day outside. I just stood outside for awhile...sigh....I didn't bother continuing doing homework because I thought that site would help a lot.

12:10pm
Back in apartment, find out that the stupid site only contains a midterm that has my homework question in it. Unable to find solutions to midterm.....sucks...

12:57pm
Wasting time blogging, eating and watching TV when I have sooo much to do: finish CS hw by 4 (AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!), hurry to work (have to feed cells, I've neglected them for soo long, my boss might know and be disappointed), promised York (P.I. from my summer internship) that I'd show up after my class at noon to continue working on program to calculate frequencies of repeat elements....blah blah blah, I didn't even finish downloading the required data, supposed to do that last night but wasted time suffering through a street jam class. Ask me about that later, Frances is NEVER gonna be mastering any hip hop moves in her lifetime.

1:03pm
sigh... still here... feel like ditching so many responsibilities but I can't.
Am I just too hard on myself about being on time and finishing stuff? Bad..... bad......bad......
I don't even know when I'll be back home again.... need to finish homework
Still have homework due tomorrow that I haven't finished... plus reading so many papers and starting on CS project, plus CS midterm next Wednesday.

Eeeeek!

Okay, definitely gotta go!

Thursday, April 24, 2003

Why do people think I'm good at stalking?
Everything is out there on the internet, I don't do much.
Seriously, it's really easy to find out people's home addresses, phone numbers, schools, resumes, cvs and even AIM screen names.
You can even find out if the car they drive ever had a history of recalls, multiple owners, lemon status, cross state registration, etc.
And if I was willing to cough up a few bucks, you can even do credit checking.

Information is power, baby!

Two of my three classes suck this quarter. Very sad...
I always sleep in one of them.
I always don't get one of them.
And my favorite one goes by way too fast.

Monday, April 21, 2003

Craaaaap! My manager just called, he says no hot water til tomorrow morning. Oh the dilemmas!

Possible outcomes:
1) Frances becomes nice and stinky til tomorrow morning, she probably won't get a good night's sleep.
2) Frances lies on bathtub floor shivering and then hypothermia sets in.
3) Frances boils water pot by pot and then....hell this ain't gonna happen!!!
4) Frances drenches herself in a lot of perfumy stuff.
5) Frances walks to neighboring apartment building and asks to use hot shower.
6) Frances calls manager back and forces him to fix the hot water problem.

Maximum likelihood: hypothermia! whoohoo, yeah, so if I don't come out of the bathroom anytime soon, it's time to bust in! NOOOOOOO!

Sunday, April 20, 2003

I haven't eaten nerds in a long time, so I bought a few boxes on Saturday. Good stuff! =)

Appearance_and_Health


How important is fitness in your life?
* Very important, but for some reason, school has become higher priority than fitness and as such, my future lean body, taut abs and marathon completion will have to wait.

What's your favorite scent? Why do you like it?
* Scent? Like perfume? Frances don't do perfume, it's nauseating. I can't really stand a smell for too long.


Arts_and_Entertainment

Which TV family would you like to join?
* the "family" of carrie, charlotte, miranda & samantha

What songs or artists put you in the mood?
* ooh, "in the mood"???
let's see, jimmy eat world gets me in a "go for your goals" mood
travis gets me into a melancholy mood
ok go gets me into a surreal, mellow mood
new radicals gets me into "who cares about the rest of the world" mood
enya gets me into a spiritual mood
etc.. many songs put me in different feelings, music sort of dictates and records my life

Name one of your favorite books. Why do you like it?
* Pride and Prejudice of course! I love Elizabeth.

Tell me some of your all-time favorite movies. Why do you like them?
* the sound of music, a&e pride and prejudice, while you were sleeping, the matrix, etc...many movies i like, don't remember at this moment

What celebrity would you want for president and why?
Tom Hanks, nice guy who wouldn't abuse the position

Family_and_Friends


How important is family to you? Describe your relationship with your family.
* Very importante..it's good...nothing going bad

How do your closest friends describe you?
* I have no idea, why would they describe me in front of me? Hmm...do I even want to know? Hehe...better not ask

Tell me a favorite childhood memory.
* Oh so many...it was a nice childhood, didn't have much material belongings, but I think that only managed to stimulate my creativity and productiveness with limited resources, like learning how to knit by myself with a borrowed library book, chopsticks as knitting needles and winding my own "yarn" from thread.

How much do you tell your friends about what's going on in your life?
* I am willing to tell EVERYTHING if they are willing to listen or ask.

What role do you play in your family?
Hopefully a dutiful daughter and role model for bro. Haha! He doesn't listen to a thing I say or do.
Need to work hard to make enough money to take parents back to visit Hong Kong and buy them a car and help pay off mortgage and just give them a break after working so hard for so many years.


Hobbies_and_Recreation


What's your favorite outdoor activity?
* Walking, exploring places, feeling the wind on my face and the sun in my hair... =) That is what life is worth living for.

What countries have you visited? What was your favorite?
* I have been visiting US for almost 22 years, haven't left yet. =( Gots to go traveling!!!

Have you ever baited a fishing hook?
* Never, neutral about it, don't care if I have to, don't care if I never.

Describe a meal you like to prepare.
* Ooh, I'd like to learn how to make cute little pastry stuff or cakes or pies.

Love_and_Romance


Describe your ideal dream date. Where would you go and what would you do?
* Somewhere we can be active and learn and do something fun. Maybe go hiking (not a good idea if you don't know who your date is, might end up on the 6 o' clock news), bowling, ice skating, ooh ooh target practice!! What else? Theme parks or the zoo would be cool. No bungee jumping until the tenth date please.

How much personal space do you need in a relationship?
* Have no idea, depends on the person? Might need space if person too needy, actually don't want that kind of person in the first place.

How long was your longest relationship? Why did it end?
* Ooh, let's see, such a tough question, well, there was that guy, and that guy, and what's his name.. yeah....
HA! I'll let you know when I die, most likely it'll be with the guy I marry of course!

Do you believe in love at first sight? Have you ever experienced it?
* Surely do, but doesn't mean that it has to happen to everybody for them to find true love. Haven't really experienced it, unless you count stupid little crushes on guys I notice on campus, but that ain't love.

In a new relationship, do you like to take it slow or do you start with a bang?
* This also depends on the person, have no idea. I think I want it slow, because if you start with a bang and then slow down, you sort of lose something there, it won't feel the same way.


Pick One


Morning person or night owl?
* Moooorning! Can't really function at night, Frances is scared of the dark, yup, shhh! don't let people know!

Three suitcases or one carry-on?
* Three suitcases, though I like to think of myself as a practical, independent girl, I'm also a very paranoid person and I'd bring everything I own if I could just in case I needed something.

Make your bed or leave it messy?
* Messy! Us geniuses can't afford to waste time on making beds!! Hahaha, just kidding, I'm just a lazy butt!

The movie or the book? Or the Cliffs Notes?
* Don't want to waste time, so Cliffs notes first, then movie and if it's still that durn interesting, then book. Sort of like Harry Potter. Watch movie, like movie, read all four books. But actually I read The Hours before I watched the movie and I think that made the movie better.

Glass half-empty or half-full?
Half-empty, naturally if you see a glass without knowing anything else, you can't guarantee it will get filled because you don't know anything about external sources coming into the system, however you DO know that evaporation will take its toll. So the glass has a likelier future of becoming empty instead of being replenished. So for it to become half-full, you have to introduce that external source yourself, you have to do take action and do something with your life instead letting entropy take over.



Unique_To_You


Admit your favorite guilty pleasure.
* Porn or chocolate? Take your pick.

Describe the best vacation you've taken.
* What vacation??? I'm still waiting....

What are your three main goals in life?
* 1) get my phd 2) become very healthy and happy 3) be financially secure

Name five things you can't live without.
* vodka, cigars, vibrator, waterproof mascara & manolo blahniks

What three things do you always keep in your wallet/bag?
* drivers license, condoms & nra membership card


What if...


If you could bring back any deceased musician for one concert, who would it be?
* Kurt Cobain

If you were a comic book character, what superpower would you possess? Why?
* Ooh, could I have two???? I love Superman, I would love to fly and have x-ray vision. I would love to spend time alone floating among the clouds and I'm a nosy person, I actually do want to see what goes on behind walls (sorry!)

If you could go back in time and relive one day in your life, which day would you choose and why?
* Darn, if I was married, I'd say my wedding day, but I'm still single. High school graduation wasn't all that... hmm..tough choice..can't pick one day...

If you started a treehouse club and could only invite three members, who would you pick? What would the sign say on the door?
* That's a lame treehouse if I can only pick three people!


Work and Education


What is the strangest job you've ever had?
* Sewing velcro spots on yarn hair braids for t-shirts sold at Nordstrom.

Is your position more of a job or a career? How many hours a week do you work?
* Sort of an intro to my career, but not really, just the environment, not actual job duties. I'm never gonna do wet work as a career!

If you could change careers and do anything you wanted, regardless of pay, what would you do?
* Artist, using all kinds of media and tools: waterpaints, pastels, clay, pencils, etc.

What was your favorite course/subject in school? Why?
* ap bio and comp sci: fun stimulating stuff!


What are your secret talents?
* Making clothes for Barbie.....ha! the weird stuff that goes on in my brain....


Personality..


Tell me about the person who has most influenced your life.
* me dad!

What do people notice about you within the first hour of meeting you (other than appearance)?
* me nice!

Do you ever talk to yourself out loud? What do you talk about?
* Only when I'm depressed. "Why is this happening to meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee?!?!"

When was the last time you lost your temper?
* Rarely lose temper, hold it all in.....

Your first name of Frances has given you a responsible, expressive, inspirational, and friendly personality. Expression comes naturally to you and you are rarely at a loss for words; in fact, you have to put forth effort at times to curb an over-active tongue. Self-confidence has made it easy for you to meet people and you are well-liked for your spontaneous, happy ways. You sincerely like people and do not often experience loneliness; your work and home-life are likely filled with association You enjoy music and could have a fine singing voice; however, the study could be somewhat difficult because you do not find it easy to apply yourself to concentrated study for long periods. In this respect, this name is not altogether constructive; it creates a somewhat scattering influence which makes it difficult for you to finish what you start. This name brings disappointments and emotional involvements through being too sympathetic and easily influenced. As a result of your active nature, you have an appetite for quick-energy foods, which you could consume to excess. Health weakness appear as skin conditions, or as ailments relative to the liver.

me:
responsible: yes
expressive: no
inspirational: no
friendly personality: i hope so!
loss for words: always!
over-active tongue: only around when excited around friends and family
self-confidence: no
spontaneous, happy ways: whoohoo! das me!
sincerely like people: yup
do not experience loneliness: i do, i do.... =(
enjoy music: totally
sing: yeah right! you want cacophony???
you do not find it easy to apply yourself to concentrated study for long periods: true, true, why else would i be reading other people's blogs and stealing ideas for my own?
never finish what i start: also frighteningly true...never tended to finish big projects or even little ones...ever since i was little
appetite for quick-energy foods: oh yeah, that's why i'm overweight
skin conditions: when will this damn acne ever stop??????? dude, all of high school and college, it's gotta stop soon!!

goodness, whatever happened to leading a simple life? i look at people's cv's and resumes, so accomplished in such a short amount of time, who can compete? all in all, who is grading us on our lives? shouldn't it be ourselves? wait a min, if that's true, am i being too hard on myself? or is it that i just realize how little i've done in this world besides consuming oxygen?

boo...as you can see from consecutive entries, i'm sort of in a blah blah period of trying to determine what the heck i should with my life and who is willing to help me with getting to wherever i'm supposed to doing...

always a problemo: letters of recs, i've been worrying about them since freshman year of college.....who actually is qualified to write letters of rec? am i being too stringent in my choice of reccomenders such that i don't have enough to apply to grad school? i always thought and still think logically so, that you are really good friends with whoever you are going to ask for such a letter...but i've seen some people ask profs they've never really talked to for letters...and of course all profs say yes but it obviously won't be a good one...
sigh...i wish i'd gone to more office hours, but now i realize that even if i had, it'd sort of be the same problem, i don't want to ask profs whom i don't connect with for letters..specially those rude and noncaring profs...so i guess my problem is that i've met so few profs i actually really really cared about...
for instance, i was really counting on this quarter for two letters from my stats profs, li and sabatti, i'm not connecting with li, it seems like that he doesn't care that much and sabatti is out on maternity leave....not enough time to get to know them...

i hope everything works out, it always have, fortunately for me...but still can't really extrapolate the good times ahead from the good stuff that's happened in the past

BOSTON, MA - Harvard University is facing a lawsuit stemming from
allegations that it discriminates against 'F' Students. Jeremy Slowboy,
spokesman for the group 'Americans for Equal Rights for Under-Achievers',
told BNN, "We find it troubling that Harvard has never admitted a student
with a 0.0 GPA in its entire 363 year history. How can an institution of
higher learning, like Harvard, be so backwards and outdated? 'F' students
have just as much of a right to an Ivy-League education as any other student
in America. We praise those people who helped bring this lawsuit against the
university and hope that it will force Harvard and other universities to end
their discrimination policies."

Admisions Officials at Harvard claim that if they are forced to admit
under-achievers, the University will lose its prestige and could go under.
BNN's legal correspondent, Johnny Cockroach, sees things differently. Said
Cockroach, "Discrimination is wrong no matter what it's based upon. It is
time we faced up the fact that mental discrimination has no place in our
society."

---------------------------------------------------------------------

BNN Disclaimer: This story is totally false not one shred of it is true! It
was created for entertainment purposes ONLY. Any resemblance to the truth is
purely coincidental.

The Top Ten Lies Told by Graduate Students
-- taken from the Harvard Crimson

10. It doesn't bother me at all that my college roommate is making
$80,000 a year on Wall Street.
9. I'd be delighted to proofread your book/chapter/article.
8. My work has a lot of practical importance.
7. I would never date an undergraduate.
6. Your latest article was so inspiring.
5. I turned down a lot of great job offers to come here.
4. I just have one more book to read and then I'll start writing.
3. The department is giving me so much support.
2. My job prospects look really good.
1. No really, I'll be out of here in only two more years.

Friday, April 18, 2003

Do I want to commit to being in the same lab for 8 years or more?
Seems such a long time, yet I have a unique position of having experience many different things in the lab and I'm loyal. I doubt any of the graduate students in the lab have ever had to clean up blood in the biohazard container. Nothing to be proud of, of course. Need to decide whether I should go and experience different people, different surroundings, their idealogy and way of thinking. Also, it's not like it's my choice, if I decide to stay in the lab, hopefully Dr. Nelson would let me.
Once again, it's like exactly four years ago, when I had to choose a college. It's early in my tree of life and each split in the branches causes a whole other sections of the tree to be missed.

Thursday, April 17, 2003

my life needs a change...

minor or major?

routine, routine, routine...

jump off the track sometime, but when you jump off, and you jump back on, you're late...
but if you don't jump off, you miss everything, it's going too fast and only in one direction...

How can you see into my eyes
like open doors.
Leading you down into my core
where I've become so numb.
Without a soul
my spirit's sleeping somewhere cold
until you find it there and lead it back home.

(Wake me up.
Wake me up inside.
I can't wake up.
Wake me up inside.
Save me.
Call my name and save me from the dark.
Wake me up.
Bid my blood to run.
I can't wake up.
Before I come undone.
Save me.
Save me from the nothing I've become.)

Now that I know what I'm without
you can't just leave me.
Breathe into me and make me real
Bring me to life.

[Chorus]

Bring me to life.
I've been living a lie
There's nothing inside.
Bring me to life.

Frozen inside without your touch,
without your love, darling.
Only you are the life among the dead.

All of this sight
I can't believe I couldn't see
Kept in the dark
but you were there in front of me

I've been sleeping a 1000 years it seems.
I've got to open my eyes to everything.

Without a thought
Without a voice
Without a soul

Don't let me die here
There must be something wrong.
Bring me to life.

[Chorus]

Bring me to life.
I've been living a lie
There's nothing inside.

Bring me to life

i have nothing to say....

Sunday, April 13, 2003

Another dilemma: stay in so cal? or journey to far and distant lands?

Seriously need to think about where to apply for graduate school.

Anyone know if there are any rankings for bioinformatics schools out there? It seems that these programs are relatively new and so not much info on how good they are.

Also, dilemma: is a phd in bioinformatics the way to go? Or specialize in a specific field and then do work in bioinformatics?

Wednesday, April 09, 2003

Damn, pilates is good! I hurt in places that I've never hurt before. Breathe Frances, breathe!!! Need to lengthen and strengthen, that's right, work it baby!

Please don't think I'm nuts!

(or maybe I am, and everyone else knows but me!!!! what a shocker!)

anyhoo, life is GOOD!

Have I mentioned that I love my prof? (Tammy is going, "yeah, like a million times! so shut up already!) =)
Yeah, can't believe what a good person he is. He makes class sooooo fun and enjoyable. He's got to be one of the most caring people on this planet. I'm gonna stalk him now to the day I die. (For those who don't know Frances, she uses the word "stalk" liberally, and doesn't really literally mean it in a negative connotation, heheheh...right) Anyways, I hope he stays at UCLA until I leave or better yet, he's still here if I end up back here for graduate school.


Thursday, April 03, 2003

AHA! I was right!

Lookie this, NIH-NSF Bioengineering and Bioinformatics
Summer Institutes Program (BBSI)
A Joint Program for Multidisciplinary Research Training
and Education


"Are the plans for recruiting adequate to ensure inclusion of women,
underrepresented minorities and persons with disabilities as institute
participants?"

Tuesday, April 01, 2003

I think one of the minor factors in why they accepted me so fast to the internship program is because I'm a girlie.

Is that a good thing?

Well, we do need more girlies in computer science and math.

Winter 2003

Chem 160 : A
Math 157 : A
Math 151B: A
Chinese 2A: pass

~ I really did not expect these grades, I wonder what go through the profs' head when they give out grades. Oh well, like I'm gonna complain. =)