i must be crazy in my own little mind... bored with a wild imagination... that's what it is...

The art of acceptance is the art of making someone who has just done you a small favor wish that he might have done you a greater one.

- Russell Lynes

I am finally able to actually write my own code now at Paracel. It took some time to get used to everything. My code is still childish, I think. But it does its job. I'll think of ways to make it more concise and prettier. =) Sometimes I love programming, sometimes I'm not too thrilled. But in general, it's a great feeling when you get stuff to run and do what you want properly. Man, the joys of debugging!

I go to work at 8:30am everyday, I leave at around 5:05pm. It's getting routine now and I like the company a lot. My boss Marc is very good to me. Yet it's still kind of a weird feeling since my days at UCLA ended. Life takes a turn, not entirely dramatic, but still a turn nonetheless. And it will happen again come end of August... that is so soon! I can't believe it, I'm not ready, yet I've been ready for such a long time. And hopefully I can get over something so it won't affect my future from then on...

Graduation Photos...
http://www.dotphoto.com/go.asp?l=franiwack&AID=1604469

They are sort of out of order, since I uploaded pics from my camera first and then Calvin's camera, but enjoy! (And let me know if I accidentally included any pics that you look funky in and don't want online!) hehehe...

Thanks again to everyone who came!!

I heard this song while I was driving today and I really hadn't heard it in such a long time. All I need is a simple kind of life...

"Simple Kind Of Life"

For a long time I was in love
Not only in love, I was obsessed
With a friendship that no one else could touch
It didn't work out, I'm covered in shells

And all I wanted was the simple things
A simple kind of life
And all I needed was a simple man
So I could be a wife

I'm so ashamed, I've been so mean
I don't know how it got to this point
I always was the one with all the love
You came along, I'm hunting you down

Like a sick domestic abuser looking for a fight
And all I wanted was the simple things
A simple kind of life

If we met tomorrow for the very first time
Would it start all over again?
Would I try to make you mine?

I always thought I'd be a mom
Sometimes I wish for a mistake
The longer that I wait the more selfish that I get
You seem like you'd be a good dad

Now all those simple things are simply too complicated for my life
How'd I get so faithful to my freedom?
A selfish kind of life
When all I ever wanted was the simple things
A simple kind of life

I got straight A's my very last quarter at UCLA.
Hahahahahaha...only two classes and since I keep harassing my prof, no surprise there.

I really wasn't there for the grades. I got such a good experience being with my prof; it showed me a side of how academia was, how professors teach, how professors think of their students, etc... I am still amazed that my prof was willing to talk to me about students since I was just a student myself. But yeah, I had a very lovely last spring quarter and though it will never be like that again, I've got the memories. =)

Ooh! Pink sapphires!!

Cool Gadgets
=============
I'm soliciting ideas for cool "must-have" or "not must have but cool enough" gadgets to buy.

I need a goal to work towards! hahahha... so anyways, please comment on what you think would be a cool gadget to own, and we'll see if I can afford it! =)

(sidenote: if I could "buy" certain things in life, then I really would... unfortunately some things in life aren't for sale and will never be guaranteed to you...)

Carrie: I'm looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can't-live-without-each-other love. And I don't think that love is here in this expensive suite in this lovely hotel in Paris.

Carrie: Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous.

The "Tammy is way cool" blog entry


Tammy is way cool

It seems very weird to call someone differently after you've known him after two and a half years. Yet, it is a change that was inevitable. So now I need to get used to calling my professor by his first name. It became very ironic and uncomfortable when I started to discuss other professors that I hardly knew by their first names and yet didn't use his first name even though we got to know each other very well.

Anyways, I waited patiently until after graduation to ask him about it through email. And I knew it'd be okay, but I didn't expect that he had thought about it and wanted to ask me too. So another step... I'll have to get used to it, but I had to do it sooner or later anyhow. =)

So far I am doing okay at Paracel. Everyone is very nice and friendly to me. And today, they gave me a very nice office to myself!! With windows! and two desks, computer, bookshelf, whiteboard, two chairs etc. The whole place is very nice in general. Plus, they even put my name outside next to my office!! all nicely printed up and slipped into the glass frame thingy. =) Way cool for just an intern. And my boss even treated me to lunch today.

Graduation!

Cybernetics: Saturday, June 19, 2004, 3:30pm

It was just lovely!!! Thanks everyone for coming!! That means you: Tammy, Linda, Cynthie, Eugenia, Justin, my family and Prof. Christou. And Lien had to be there, but thanks to you too! =)

Left to right: Cynthie, Eugenia, me, Tammy, Justin, Linda


My family: Calvin, my mom, me and my dad


me, Professor Christou, Lien


Cybernetics Class of 2004

Today I went to visit the place that I'll be working at for the next 9 weeks. It is a company in Pasadena (very near Caltech) called Paracel. www.paracel.com They do parallel computing and manufacture hardware and software for many different fields such as defense, media, geosciences and bioinformatics.

I just came back from the visit feeling very dumb. They surprised me with two technical interviews, making me write C and Perl code on a white board. Of course I can do what they ask if I wasn't under pressure. But I can't think like that so quickly so I ended up looking like I don't know any programming when I could have done it on my own in a few minutes. Oh well, live and learn. But other than that, it's in a beautiful building that I think I will very much like working in.

My new workplace starting Monday. =)

Oh boy...after feeling so less pressured and scared for almost the whole academic year, I am once again feeling stupid and less than qualified. I'm starting another summer of my bioinformatics internship. Seems like they expect so much. I was scared last year, then I realized that I was probably one of the most qualified people there. And none of us interns really did anything that noteworthy. Yes, we all worked hard, but still, it didn't seem all that great. Oh, I don't know... crap, I'm being thrown out of my safety shell again. Gotta get used to this stuff!! It's gonna happen again when I hit Berkeley and even worse! At least this is only a 10 week internship, grad skool is huuuge! Okay Frances, breeeeathe!!

Last Day of Classes at UCLA
-----------------------------
It turned out alright, nothing too special, but very nice and peaceful and happy.

I woke up in time for Professor Christou's 100C class (that I'm not taking, but like sitting in the back). Today Lien sat in the back with me and we took pictures from there. =) Learned a bit of logistic regression that he didn't teach last year for my 100C class. And as usual, nice speech from Christou and we all clapped long and hard.

After lecture, we took some pics.


Went to CTO to pick up Cynthie's ticket for my graduation next Saturday. And then headed out to Corner Bakery to eat the chicken pomodoro. Then went to a boba place where we got sweeeeet shaved ice. I bumped into Angel there. Had a nice talk where I learned some surprising stuff.

Anyhow, we walked back to campus in time for our very last 183 lecture. Learned a bit more about Ito's process and put call parity. I wonder if I'll ever use the knowledge I learned from this class on financial stats. And whoohoo, my name is on the homework solutions! I didn't even notice until Lien pointed it out to me. How cool is that?? =) Thanks for that Professor Christou!


After class, Lien, Kathy and I walked around campus taking pictures. Fun! Need to get pictures of UCLA to look at whenever I'm missing it. hehehe...





Anyways, Lien and I got to sit outside and talk to Christou for a bit. It was such a nice day, I wish I could package it and let it out whenever I needed the perfect sunny windy day without worries.

We met another of his students. I hope her problems will lessen soon. After Christou left to check on a student taking a final in his office, we got to talk to that girl some more. After she left, Lien and I had a nice talk about relationships.

We had sat there for a long time while it got colder and darker when Christou came out again. He is really picky about what he eats and drinks, VERY picky. Anyhow Lien left to work in the SEAS lab and I went with my prof to wait with him for his bus. That was the very last time that I will ever do that. I doubt I'd ever have the time or the circumstances to ever do something like that with him again.

Calvin got a DVD burner for me!!! =) How cool is that?? Very cool, that's what! Whoohoo!!

My motivation to do things is just wrong or inappropriate sometimes, so what happens if that reason is no longer there, does that make me stuck in the mud?

One more day left... I feel like I haven't done enough. I really dislike changes... I mean, I will get used to them, but the period in between is what messes with my mind and emotions. What I want is for a soundtrack to play during this time in my life. Currently listening to Maroon 5 - Sunday Morning...so good.. =)

Anyways, I feel so indebted to everyone I know for just being there and being nice to me. Really...I'm not the solitude type of girl though I have faced that enough this fifth year. I wish I can be with someone without having to have a goal or purpose for the interaction in mind. Just want to sit there and enjoy silence or talk or whatever for whenever... Too bad it's so hard because of people's schedules, in this society, everyone is always pressed for time, no luxury of just being next to each other doing nothing. I bumped into Roya today, haven't seen her in two years, yet I felt obligated to chat only a little and then rush to wherever I was headed. I felt I should have spent more time talking to her as it was like fate I bumped into her. Sigh... it's hard to give up time for someone special for someone else special.

And people relationships shouldn't be bound by whatever society deems normal or acceptable. Ack...I guess I'm just sad that these ties will be weakened or broken anytime something big changes like the end of college. Like for instance, I, by some very weird coincidence, very frequently bump into my friend Mary. That occurrence won't happen much now. But that's too bad. Likewise for everyone else that I enjoy being with.

College Durant

I've got housing!!! =) Feel so much better now that I don't have the hassle of going up north to look for a place to live.
Berkeley housing emailed me this afternoon (after I emailed/called like half a dozen times in the last couple of months). They offered a bedroom in a four bedroom suite, but it started July 1! Since rent is like $895 a month, I really didn't want to pay almost $1800 for no one to live in my room when I'm here in SoCal for the summer. So I called them right away and even better! they offered August 16 as moving date! Peeeerfect!!! =) So... very happy, everything is working out well.

College Durant is on the south side of campus, one block away. Very new too, built like two years ago for graduate students. It's like dorms all over again, but better, cuz I get my own room and an RA! =)

Phenomenal Woman
Maya Angelou

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies
I'm not cute or built to suit a model's fashion size But when I start to tell them
They think I'm telling lies.
I say
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips
The stride of my steps
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally
Phenomenal woman
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please
And to a man
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees
Then they swarm around me
A hive of honey bees.
I say
It's the fire in my eyes
And the flash of my teeth
The swing of my waist
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenal woman
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say
It's in the arch of my back
The sun of my smile
The ride of my breasts
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally
Phenomenal woman
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say
It's in the click of my heels
The bend of my hair
The palm of my hand
The need for my care.
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally
Phenomenal woman
That's me.

Another wonderful afternoon and night with my prof today. =) Something to remember my last week at UCLA by. He took me out to dinner and ice cream. I'm so lucky to have met him and all these other great people during my years at UCLA. High school is definitely far behind me. And I guess, more wonderful and interesting people await me this summer and when I get to Cal. But I can't wait to hang out with my oldest friends this summer!! =)

my homework is darn pretty!!! spent a lot of time typing that stuff...
anyhoo, for your viewing pleasure: http://www.bol.ucla.edu/~franiwac/Stat183_HW6.pdf


eh, don't click on it, it might waste your time, though i can't believe how fascinating and complicated these models for stock prices go....incredible...

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! UCLA is kicking me out in less than 4 days!!! noooooo!

Finally ready to let go...

After all this time, I finally realized that I have made the best choice for graduate school. (Hopefully I will be feeling the same way when I get up there.)
All these years of college have really taught me that you don't have to follow what anyone says at all. I start to figure out how peopple think and act and do whatever I think would be reasonable in accordance to that. Programs that seemed so "official" to me before then are now just some stuff that people put together. Why had I never gotten into this frame of mind before?

Anyways, I had also forgotten that I will be getting a little bit more freedom soon (aka being able to drive car by self) so that my reasons for having wanted to stay at UCLA lessens. It's not like I won't be able to drive to UCLA anytime I want during winter breaks etc. If you know me, you can probably guess what one of the major reasons is. =) But anyhow, it's not right to have such a thing affect my graduate studies so much so I'll be much more freer at Berkeley. And at least I can say that it has and will definitely help a lot once I become a graduate student, GSI and then perhaps professor later?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO LIEN! a very cool 22! =)

Thanks to Lien for the pictures! I forgot my camera today...
But anyhoo... woila! It's us with our cool professor, Nicolas Christou!
Better posting than framing, eh Lien? =)